Oktoberfest Sucks

The second week of October every year sees Kitchener-Waterloo Oktoberfest go down. A copycat of those held in Germany, and the largest in the world outside of Bavaria. The large German population in and around our area lead to the formation of 4 or 5 German clubs each growing to have its own featured attraction in the form of a good strudle, or the best schnitzel, or a good solid dance group.

Enter my bias. My dad's side of the family, being of a German descent, strongly urged involvement for me as I grew up; as a child I either had the choice of attending German school early saturday mornings, or dancing with our club's dance group. So guess who made the poor future choice, and instead of becoming versed in a new language, got himself decked out in lederhosen, white knee socks and dance shoes, and cut up the hardwood floors of festhalls across K-W, southern Ontario, and into the States?

But letting the bias go, in a completely objective light, Oktoberfest sucks. Of course the first argument against me is the 'massive boost to economy' that Oktoberfest brings. I suppose. But most of that money I'm sure doesn't go solely to the local beer breweries for example, and all the pins and hats and random gaudy memorabilia aren't all made here, so really the number estimates they throw out there are strongly inflated I'm sure.

Is that profit then worth going out and pretending to be of German descent, cause lets face it the demographics here have changed a lot in 60 years, and paying marked up prices on beer, and the obligatory shots of Jager and/or Schnapps, all while listening to the same polkas and waltzes cranked through the house system for hours on end? Never mind the rage inspiring chicken dance.

And then there are all the out of towners and foreigners that come to town to see what all the fuss is about. Anyone who's been here knows that we have some of the most backwards, apparently random street set-up anywhere in North America, still following old mennonite and farmer pathways, weaving, and intersecting 3 times within the Region limits. Throw in the increased incidence of drunk drivers, and the so required increased RIDE check programs and police presence on the streets, and you wonder why?

Celebrating German heritage? At this point that's just a thrown out excuse, its not so much the German crowds that go out to these things anymore. Like I said the population demographics have changed. And now its a lot more of those that would otherwise denounce the Germans still leading back to the World Wars that go out and celebrate this 'German heritage'. So then the next excuse becomes increased sense of community. Sure, except everyone still goes out with the same groups of friends, just with a different excuse to party, there is no building of community. In fact, in most cases it ends up with running into people you haven't seen in years be it since school, or a previous job, with a good reason for having avoided them. Bring on the awkward moments, and another 6 dollar beer.

And so it is, that aside from the schoolwork, and finding time to hang out with the new female persuasive figure, I'll be hibernating around the house for a week. Gemütlichkeit my ass.