In My Day

There's one thing to be woken up at 4am by say a wrong number phone call, or a hydro pole transformer blowing outside your house. Its quite another to wake up to some kids blasted out of their mind sitting on your porch having a party and stealing your beer, and insist that a friend of theirs has lived there for years and that there's been a party inside all night.

I guess for at least some of the 22 years I've been living here, I've had an unknown co-occupant? Actually, I can't lie, there was a party here last night. For about 2 hours my grandmother came over and we celebrated her 82nd birthday, and lemme tell you, she likes to get right blitzed.

Maybe I just wasn't hanging around with the cool kids growing up, but I have never gotten so drunk that I didn't know where I was, or had lost the basic ability to reason. The kid with the sticker still on his cockeyed dodgers cap really deserved an attitude adjustment, but at 4am having just woken up, in barefeet and pajama pants I wasn't about to step outside, so I tried to continue on a logical approach with the kiddies.

Obviously that didn't work, until finally a cab showed up for them, at which point Dodgers fan went off on a rant in the kind of english you grow to expect from kids these days. "Come on man, these people think we're stupid idiots and that we're stupid and that we're idiots, we know better than them, lets go man. They think we're all stupid and 'indigient', lets go..." followed by this weird, half retarded scream. I guess you have to give the kid credit for trying to use a 'big' word like indignant, and even getting the context of the word correct, but not actually knowing how to say it. Wait, no you don't. Buddy was a fucking tool, standing on my porch screaming at me and waking me up insisting there was a party in my basement at 4am.

I'm either getting old way too fast, or the kids are getting younger and stupider even faster.